Togedda fo Each Odda

2003-10-25T14:29:00.000-07:00

2003-10-25T14:28:00.000-07:00

I can't believe that it has been this long since I've blogged.
I "blog" in other forms (in a journal of sorts, in writing). My husband had a great experience this week visiting Eugene and Jan Peterson, of "The Message". What a treat! He brought me home a couple of Montana souvenirs, which I always appreciate. The MESSAGE signed by Eugene Peterson will be a prize possession and I'm already enjoying. I have enjoyed the introduction part about Peterson and why he decided to give so much of his life working on such a project. I've also started reading The Scripture parts, too..... just in case you were wondering about that. Ha!

This is my first Message as the WHOLE BIBLE I have carried around a NT and Psalms/Proverbs for a long time, but I will especially enjoy the whole. My husband feels that this experience has changed him, and I'm grateful that he had this experience! I think all experiences can change us in some way, but some especially do. Some have greater impact than others.

We were glad to have him home again. We enjoyed looking at the pictures and trying to relive with him some of the happenings as he told them.

Had a great conversation with my parents this morning. Dad has been so positive for the last few months, that it baffles me. I knew there was a God, but I'm sure of it now. Ha! I have written down several "positive" responses from him, just so I can remember that he really said them. He turned 91 a couple of weeks ago. Doesn't seem possible. My mom turned 88 just 3 days before dad. God has given them health and long life, for which I am grateful!

Have had some "sickness" in our home, while hubby was gone -- both of our kids missed work -- feeling achy, stuffed up and miserable. I thought I was going to make it without catching it, but not so. I pushed through the week (had kids doing a project that I wanted to be there for), but was happy when Friday arrived. I left as soon as I could and hope to rest over the weekend so as to not have to miss any work. Pray that my precious hubby doesn't catch any of it though.

I know hubby dear enjoyed being with the guys from Boise especially, too. You are all very special to us as well as your families. We pray God's "peace" be yours and ours as we continue to seek to glorify Him!

I hear it's time for a liturgical nap. I like that! See ya!

2003-08-29T01:07:00.000-07:00

It's after midnight. I'm missing my husband. It's been a busy week with getting "the classroom" ready for kids starting next week, going through trainings on a new computer system and grade program, staff meetings, etc., etc. Learning curve has begun again. Was just getting comfortable with the old computer system. However, the whole school now has a goal to work together in unified (but different) ways to "push the positive"! I've been thinking a lot about that throughout the summer -- desiring to celebrate kids in their successes and strengths much more than the negative traits of some that seem to "stand out" and "distract us all". I miss my husband -- even in my busyness today! Sometimes I am very "singularly focused", but it was hard to be today. He's encountered GFU and many fine folks, new friends, reacquaintance with old ones, as well as Allelon guys. He was planning to hang out with them (by staying at the same place with them), but when he arrived our car "died". It was early afternoon and first session didn't start till evening. With direction to a Chevy mechanic, he made an appointment for EARLY Tuesday morning, so instead of bothering people to have to "cart" him back to GFU "way early in the next AM", he took a room at the motel closeby and rose early to meet AAA to tow the car and check it out. I'm so thankful that the Lord allowed him to arrive safely. The car could have given out anywhere along the way, but he made it to the destination and didn't have to miss the sessions. The expense was enormous, beyond belief -- but done and ready by the time he needed to go to the next section (retreat time) with L. Sweet and the group at a different location. So, again, God's faithfulness is always refreshing! Since he arrived there (the retreat), though, I haven't heard from him (which is very, very unusual -- I'm wondering if he's so far out in the "boonies" and the "cell" doesn't work or something? Oh, well. I'm sure I'll hear sometime soon. We celebrated our 37th Wedding Anniversary (8/26) apart this year, though we did celebrate with another couple a week ago as well. They have the same anniversary and married one less year than us. So we try to celebrate together every year sometime. Winn and I talked several times that day, so maybe that makes up some for not hearing lately.
The kids and I went to have Mexican food after my long day at school, and then I worked on the computer on some school stuff to take tomorrow to print on copier. It has been a long week, but I've felt Jesus with me and am so thankful for that! I don't have to be to school quite so early tomorrow (as the prior part of this week when we had classes and meetings), so plan to take our daughter to work and then off to finish a few more things. If I have any time left while still there at school, I'll work on my "learning curve" on the computer and new programs. But most of that will have to come in the ensuing weeks, probably, if tomorrow is like the earlier part of the week.
If anyone reads this, be blessed! If you're upset or angry or just sad, be blessed! Maybe they will turn to calm, cool and happy long-term. Today is the day that the Lord has made - we "can" rejoice in it for some reason, if we look long and hard, if necessary.
It's been fun to do some different things this summer - like attend a Mary Kay Seminar in Dallas, Tx in the "dead heat" with my sister. Time spent with my side of the family (parents, brother and sister-in-law, and sister) were very enjoyable, even in hot Southern California. My parents are getting up there (in age), but blessed! I treasure the moments with Mom, especially. Even in the 38 years I've been gone from home, we've been close through letters and phone calls. I now also send emails via my sister, which are often a little faster than the postal mail. Not always, though. ha! Lest this become a treatise of sorts, I'll close for this time.

2003-08-17T12:08:00.000-07:00

I just walked on treadmill earlier this morning and watched a couple of programs during and after. One of the sermons was on "kindness" -- showing acts of kindness. Taking time to do such is being like Jesus. Asking God to create in us, not just taking the "easy" way out by giving money or something like that. Giving time is harder to let loose of in our busy lives.

The other one was on "anger" -- a normal emotion that we try to swallow or vent, but should "dissolve". The preacher's suggestion was an acrostic:

P Permission - Give each other permission to say "I'm angry and at what" as soon as the expression of anger occurs.

R Reconstruction - Take time to "reconstruct" the "anger event". Oftentimes you find that something was just misunderstood, taken out of context, etc.

A Alliance - Form an alliance with the one (spouse or other person) who had the anger event with to GO AGAINST the enemy (the anger) and not the person. Guess what? You're both on the "same" side now, not opposite sides, so to speak.

C Christ - Allow the higher power, that of Christ, to work with you to "dissolve" the anger and bring "at-oneness" back into your life.

PRACtical, eh?

Well, it's about time to get focused on going back to school. This year I'll only be teaching part-time, since I'm job-sharing. It will be different in several respects. But I hope to do a little more with Mary Kay as well. I'm asking the Lord to help me get over my "phone phobia" and increase my self-confidence (with God's help and confidence). If nothing else occurred, that would be a good result. I don't know exactly how this phobia developed, but I'm trying to face it finally! I'm also working on my "sweet" tooth!

Jeramie's job schedule has changed a little. Winn is entering into a new educational pursuit. So there's lots of change around here to get used to.

Love you all.

2003-07-12T17:03:00.000-07:00

I just completed reading the book: Jesus, Entrepreneur: Using Ancient Wisdom to Launch and Live Your Dreams, by Laurie Beth Jones. Her ending paragraphs included the phrase: "We can do well by doing right and thereby enjoy true success." and then ended with my most favorite Scriptural injunction: "Seek first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness.... and all else will be given to you (her pharaphrase at the end)." I love stories of people and her book is full of them. If you feel out of balance in almost any area, she addresses many of them. She shows Jesus as the role model even for modern times. There's much to "chew" on and think about. At this point, not sure which part "hits" me most, because so much of it did.

2003-07-05T20:56:00.000-07:00

Enjoyed the few days away after school was out. Checking out on the 20th of June and leaving the morning of the 21st was what happened. Driving or riding (since I seldom get to drive) is tiring. Some people can drive/ride for days and be exhilarated by it. The few days went fast in Boise, probably because I was so tired....just kinda felt the days slip away. Enjoyed the fellowship with the Allelon Gang ( and especially their wives on Tuesday evening, even though brief -- thanks, Beth and Jeanette for making the arrangement to be there, Debbie, too -- forgive me for not energetically moving and talking to you; it was hard to hear sometimes and I should have moved so that I could have)..... but felt I was just beginning to "relax" a little, and it was time to start for home. Upon our return home, went through 6 days of workshops (AVID and AP Institute Language Arts) from June 28th thru July 3rd. I gleaned some info but would take a lot of tweaking to apply to "struggling readers", whom I again will be teaching next year. My job assignment will be 3 classes of reading (two different preps) and two classes of IA (Instructional Asst) in Reading or Lang Arts. The teacher I replaced will be returning part-time, and we'll be job sharing. It will be different. It may be less stressful overall. I'm thinking seriously of not doing "Detention Supervision" next year, which I've done as an extra activity for years.

The workshops attended stimulate the ole brain with ideas, at least, though not terribly applicable to my assignment this time. The lunches provided were awesome -- ending with salmon and the trimmings Thursday noon. Some of the ones that had said they were going to attend from our school, I didn't see, so plans must have changed. I needed the supplemental hours, so I was motivated to be there, no matter what.

Since that is over, I'm now planning my two weeks at home -- before leaving for California. Winn often wants to "take me to breakfast" now that I'm off from a "schedule" -- I sometimes resist, with the idea that I can prepare something here for cheaper.... but he reminds me that we seldom get time together in the mornings, since I'm usually off so early.... and time is of the essence. One never knows what time we have, so the first thing I'm putting on my TO DO LIST is to "NOT RESIST WHEN HE WANTS TO SPEND TIME WITH ME...even if it is 'out to breakfast'"! (He will read this and I'll be bombarded now) But I will appreciate every minute we spend together, and things will still be there to do, but that's okay. I need to more highly value those minutes with him! Nothing profound maybe, only encouragement to spend those times with your hubby when you get the opportunity. I know I don't have "small children" any more, so all the more should appreciate that 37 years of marriage can only get better!! Winn likes to be "spontaneous" more than I, my favorite mode is "to plan"! But I know not everything can be planned all the time, and I think he would say that I have gotten better at being spontaneous. At least I hope he would say that, because I have. More later.

2003-06-15T08:07:00.000-07:00

Just said "Happy Father's Day" to the father of our kids, my sweetheart! Also, just read a few blogs and lots of things rolling around in my head. Have four days of school left (with kids in classes) and a fifth day for 8th Grade Graduation/Celebration and Check-out for me. So much to do in these last days. Haven't had to do this kind of "check-out" in several years (as a cert teacher). I wake up in the middle of the night thinking of something I want to be sure I do (and get up and put it on the list). So the last 3 or 4 nights have been broken up. A couple of times I would get up and actually do more than add to a list. I will be kind of glad for the "recupe" time and change. Our son is on vacation for the rest of the month. Our daughter found out she really did have some "vacation" time coming (in her job that she's had for over 10 months now). So she's taking a week off (while her brother is off) and we may just all get in the car and go somewhere. After reading Beth's blogs, I'm now pondering who I consider some of the women who have influenced me. I'm one of those who has worked outside the home most of my married life. Being in education several years of my life, however, which I really enjoy, does give me a week off here and a week off there, a day here and there as well, plus several weeks in the summer, which I always appreciated for my kids' sake! Some of my "in between jobs" were part-time or flexible based on the kids' needs, which I was always very grateful for. When we first moved to Washington, I made the choice that I felt was definitely a "God thing" to not go to work right away (no matter how "lean" it got). Our differently-abled daughter was then going into 7th grade and in a completely new place, and the Lord helped me to be able to "be there for her" all year during her adjustment. I volunteered often at the church we attended (during the day while she was at school). That was an interesting year! But, on the other hand, I don't think we've ever had an "uninteresting year" -- smile! About two years then of working outside of education changed to being back in education again till now. Of course, now my kids are adults, though our daughter is still in our care and, but for a miracle, probably always will be! So I've been (much of my life) one of those women that Beth may have been referring to as not available during the day because of work (at least 9-10 months of the year). Most of the time my childcare people (before school age) were younger than I, and I didn't just rush in and out (with my kid) if the gal wanted to talk at times. There were times when I went through feelings of "being a bad mother because I was working", but in those times prayed for other adults to also be "good mentors and role models" for my kids along with me. Also, I was always so concerned because of our daughter's limitations that some (a few was okay!) adults would accept her totally -- and I do believe that the Lord answered that prayer with "Yes" -- because since our kids' births, wherever we lived, God provided those people in our lives and in hers. He also put us in the lives of others to help them, as we were being helped -- and it wasn't always the same people that we were helping or mentoring that were filling the needs in our lives, but it was also reciprocal at times....yes! So I just have always believed that God will provide what we need -- He will provide the mentoring, the "speaking into your/our lives", the wisdom from hearing another voice, other people to be along-side ...... when we need them! --- maybe not always "at the moment" (like instant potatoes or "instant anything") --- but those moments will be there! It may be one to one, couple to couple, in a group, in person, on the phone, even in email (as somewhat inpersonal as that is), woman to woman (but not just that way). I have to remind myself often that I need to be as alert as possible and as expectant as possible to participate in God's provision to others and recognize also His provision to us! We (speaking for myself) just have to slow down sometimes and not make everything more complicated than it needs to be! Of course, we have to be amenable to be available to people for that to happen, I realize, but that's true for any communication to take place in life. Gotta go for now.

2003-06-01T11:58:00.000-07:00

A new month! Wow, how time flies! Concerned about so many of the kids I work with each day, but have to just try to listen and speak (into their lives???) when the "moment" opens! One little girl has become very "disrespectful" in how she talks to adults and to other kids. I had the inkling from her "reading log" that the Bible was something she read and may be "important to her". In talking with her mother about her behavior, I found that her disrespect was to her mother as well. So mid-week I took her aside after the kids were gone, told her she "was not in trouble" (in other words, that's not why I asked her to stay behind), but that I was really concerned for her. I asked her if "reading the Bible" was important to her, she responded affirmatively. I asked her if she thought about what she read and asked God to help her "live out" what she read? She looked at me like she didn't know what I was talking about. In the few mintues of talking with her, I prayed that maybe a "seed" was planted - I gave her a couple of examples, starting with her apparent attitude toward and acting out toward her mother, other adults, and other kids. Have you heard that we may be the "ONLY BIBLE" that some people will read? I asked the gal if others knew she was a Christian, would they be impressed with God in her life? (something like that....don't remember my exact words). She seemed to "melt", and I don't think I was making that up -- it was like a lightbulb went on, something she hadn't thought about. As I sent her off to her next class just across the hall, I encouraged her to think about what was said and let me know what she thinks. I made sure she knew I was not against "questioning" -- you need to ask questions (but in a classroom it kinda has to be at appropriate times and not in beligerent ways(, if you know what I mean. Pre-teens and teens are so impressionable and "mob mentality" can ensue...of course, such can even happen with adults.) She was absent the next day, and the rumor (I hope it is only a rumor, since it came from one of the other kids) is that she has been moved to the custody of her father (who is separated/maybe divorced???) from her mother. Escape is not the answer -- I was hoping she would see "to deal" with the problem she was in, even as young as she is. But I will continue to pray for her.

Some friends in a "church" situation have been said to have "a Jezebel spirit" ,ETC. They just dropped by the other day, though we share from time to time. They had asked to be prayed for and sent off for closure and so leaving could be on a "good note" (like should happen), and that has not been granted; instead they have been "labeled" with the above as the reason they are to leave and that the "pastor" can't bless that kind of spirit. My heart just sinks every time "control" and "manipulation" is exhibited in leadership towards others. There is much more to this story than I want to take time right now to share and it's the same ole stuff, have seen it before. Oh, God! Please help us to not fall into those pitfalls. Yes, we're all in process, but.......may we really be in process TOWARD God and willing to learn from/relate to/love one another. May a "church" (people) be raised up that truly recognizes what YOU (GOD) want us to see in each other!

2003-05-18T12:02:00.000-07:00

Kids in my classes are working on some projects on one of the following three VALUES: Respect, Helpfulness or Hard Work. There are many others (Values, that is), but these are three I threw out for them to think about and for them to work with, for us to discuss some, dispersed into the other curriculum we had to cover as well. It's interesting to see and hear their responses. I still wish that classes were smaller. I seem to, or at least feel I, do better on a one to one, one to two basis, at least smaller group basis. While the 7th graders were taking the WASL tests (for over a six day period), I had a couple of classes that were small (about 8 or so), and that was just wonderful. We got to know each other in different ways. Felt more like a community. I noticed the "humor" particularly of one kid, that I might not have ever seen portrayed in the larger class. In the smaller environment, they are more willing to "think" and "express themselves appropriately and with feeling" and not just let the the "herd mentality of the day" overpower them. But every year something happens in the economics of things, and one of the threats is that class sizes will have to increase....so it is again.

Things are winding down. Five more weeks in our school district. But still trying to keep myself focused and the students as well on what's at hand to complete. Still have another couple days of observation/evaluation coming this next week, several meetings to attend after school hours, etc. Also, have six days of workshops to participate in once school is out. Found myself absolutely "exhausted" when Friday came this week. And I don't have little kids at home to worry about, which is probably a good thing for them and for me. ha! Our "baby" is turning 24 this week! Wow! Just doesn't seem possible! She's differently-abled, so in many ways is not 24, and she knows it. She herself said something about that the other night. Many kids that are learning disabled "are oblivious to that fact" much of the time. I'm just rambling.....better quit for now.

2003-03-29T11:14:00.000-08:00

Here lately my focus has been so much on the kids at school that I'm working with. Maybe because we had some "targeted" parent-teacher conferences, because I've gone through observation of two different class periods by administration (which has to happen), maybe because we've had reams (it seems) of requests of information about how students are doing (need for progress reports and comments about individual students -- some who are going through testing, reevaluation, possible targets for special education, etc., etc, maybe because it is getting close to the end of another quarter. You find some parents really wanting their kid to adjust, be more focused on "school work", etc., and you find other parents really "unsupportive" in some ways and you see the kid struggling for his or her own identity (or not struggling for it -- being passive).

I'm reading (myself) a trilogy of books (by Dave Pelzer), the first one A Child Called IT. I actually had started reading it to the class (teacher read aloud) and found many of them so interested in it. It is Dave Pelzer's own story of family -- good times which later turned into him being severely singled out and abused by his mother. The sad thing was that the father was technically abused by his wife, and allowed the one son to go thru everything with little help from him, because of his fear of his own wife, apparently. The father stayed away long hours, because he didn't like it, but the abuse was even worse on Dave when his father wasn't there. The family had 3 boys at that time (a 4th son was born later). The things that happened to him just brought tears to my eyes for both his mother and him. I could go on and on, but I began to ask the question, "Why were the kids (in my class) so glued to hearing the book read to them? How many of them were in similar experiences that they felt "locked into"? (maybe not the same, but causing the same kind of feelings)" among other questions. I wondered why the mother took it out on just ONE kid, and not the others.

My original purpose for starting the book (orally to the class) was it was just ONE (of many) that I was introducing to the kids: to "start several books" and if kids got interested, they could finish reading them on their own, which is what I plan to go back to, but not before I read orally to the class "a positive part" written by the author in a section at the end of the book. Mainly because when situations like this happen in kids' lives, they are told to "NOT SHARE" it with anyone, that it is their (the two of them --) secret. Or they are threatened with their life if they tell anyone, etc. Statistics regarding abuse were given in a section (also) at the end of the book, and many do not live to talk about it, or many continue the same cycle with their own children. But Dave Pelzer's story tells how some teachers and people in his life instilled in him ENOUGH that helped him make the choice of turning it positive for himself. He didn't have to continue to live "the deep dark secrets" or continue the cycle of abusing his own. I'm in his second book now and something he said was, if he errs now it is in "spoiling his son" and telling him how much he loves him. I guess I want the kids to realize that THEIR CHOICE as they grow up does not have to CONTINUE THE CYCLE or be a NEGATIVE one, that Dave Pelzer is proof of CHOOSING to turn his life away from and around from the hard things he experienced as a child (approximately age 7 to 12). We don't have to continue to go the wrong way, as hard as it may be "in the moment" to make a decision to go away from the strong, negative experiences. We can choose! (It reminded me of Winn's talking at his sister's funeral about CHOICE.) The power of our choice in this life (while we can choose!).

In the past even in a Christian family, I felt "dominated" by one of my parents. It made it very hard for me to feel like I could make the right choice (especially if it ended up different than that parent's desires), and I'm talking about such as an adult, of course. So that "feeling of being impelled to think only the way the one parent thought" stayed with me a long, long time. But though I wasn't abused as Dave Pelzer was (where he couldn't have food, he had to be the slave and do the ALL the chores, he had to sleep in the garage, he was beaten severely if he didn't finish things in the short time he was given, he was tortured in other ways, etc., etc.), it was hard for me for a long time to think that I really was "hearing" from God, that I could make a decision and it would be accepted as okay by God or by others, and I could go on......And I felt "locked in" or I'd be dishonoring to my parents. I always said, their intentions were okay, but technically they were very "selfish" (as I see it now) and "abusive".

That one parent is being very positive (often) towards me, affirming at times, and I hope not for "selfish" reasons. On the phone last night (which that parent comes on often now, used to fairly easily pass the phone to the other parent and even criticize her for talking to me so long, etc.) we got to talking about my work and he asked if he could pray for any particular students with me. So I gave him one student's name and he said he would. (Sorry -- I don't know why exactly I was trying to keep it anonymous as to which parent -- I guess afraid I would be dishonoring. Still creeps in!) Anyway, since my going to their 66th Anniv. last November, he's "laughed more", "been thankful more", etc. Before that I was encouraging him all the time to look at the "other side of the coin" (the positive side), because he could find the negative so much more easily. So he just doesn't bring up the negative as much (in my opinion) as has been the case before. (Reminds me of Beth's blog on "criticizing")

As I pray for the kids that I work with, I've asked the Lord to help me say something or do something to help the kid know that he can make a CHOICE for good, no matter how hard it seems or how stuck or locked in he or she feels. That in middle school is a good place to start "thinking" about making long-term positive, beneficial choices. Sometimes I get upset when I see kids making very "abusive" choices for themselves (and I wonder why -- what are they living in -- to influence them to think that way). There's no way to always know (but sometimes info comes from a counselor that helps you understand their situation) and you wonder how much influence you can have when you see them for only 40 to 50 minutes each day and then NOT on an individual basis, but in the class community (for that period of time) that they're trying to "find" what part they can "play" in that community for that period of time. Often their choices are to "look good" in the eyes of others (and their looking good is "acquiring negative attention" or getting a laugh for being obstinate or disruptive, etc.). A couple of different girls and in different classes seem to be so "mellow" and apologetic and seem to be listening when you're working just with the one at a time AWAY from the group (after school or something like that) but in the classroom each has a "real confrontive, abusive, non-cooperative attitude" and blatantly makes it known, attempts to argue her case, distracting the class including me, and "the beat goes on!" I so much want to influence them for good and be a good example of how to handle situations, but sometimes feel like I'm not making any headway.

So that's where I'm at today. My husband is gone, I need to do "breakfast" for at least two of us (daughter and me) and then get about the business of the day. My heart hurts for so many of the kids I work with, but I feel helpless at times to do very much about anything. So I take some deep breaths, enjoy the differences of the weekend (from the regular work week), and then face head on again the challenges of the kids (and all that they're dealing with, without knowing what all that is) and I know I'm dealing with my "own stuff" as well, so that all goes into the mix!

God, I pray for each family, each kid that I see during the school week. Protect the kids from abuse. Give them a fortitude within to be the person you want them to be. I pray that I will be able to say an encouraging word to many that might help them KNOW they are not "locked in" forever, that there is a CHOICE they can make to change their direction in the future. Help their adult parents to find their way out of the maze that they're in and subjecting their children to. So often there is only one parent standing alone, facing the challenges of several kids -- come into their lives. May they find solace in you.

Thanks for your understanding and mercy, God. When I feel I "blow it" with a kid, thanks for coming along side and helping us both at that time. Thanks for the times that I don't blow it with a kid, and print it "indelibly" on their heart, and help me to sense more often when that has occurred, so that I can build on it (with your help).

2003-03-02T10:46:00.000-08:00

Thanks for all your prayers. The viewings & services for my husband's sister are now history. As the middle daughter told me in an email, "Mama would have enjoyed her "send off" celebration."

This is also to ask for prayer for wisdom for Winn and that the Lord will lead him to the right people to help him get his sister's things resolved peacefully.

Winn talked about CHOICES at the funeral: At conception and for approximately 9 months we have no choice in who our parents are and what our characteristics will be (what we'll look like, etc.), but once we are born into this BIG world and our parents begin guiding us, we very soon start making choices. During this stage of life we can make the choices. Our choices affect our life on this earth, but also our continuation of life (when death occurs). At that stage, we no longer have choice in the matter. So it is important that we choose well in the stage of life where choices are ours. That's the "brief" of it. Something else I've heard my husband say so often is that, "Bad theology is a 'cruel' taskmaster!" We don't like the word "theology or theologian" but we all have such or are one, whether we know it or not. And if we have accepted everything we've ever heard without checking it out and making it our own, we could very easily have "bad theology" and it is cruel, often causes us to be guilt-ridden, legalistic, or un-biblical -- which is not God's way! I don't know exactly how I got on that...... With God's help we should live life with the goal of being an authentic follower of Christ.

Looking forward to my "other half" coming home -- probably late this week. Thanks again for all your prayers.

2003-02-26T18:08:00.000-08:00

Winn called early this morning (for us) to say "good morning", and then a little later to tell me that his sister had passed to the other side. Thank God she passed peacefully and with no struggle. The services will be on Saturday morning at 10 AM. Winn will be singing and speaking at the end of the service. Gloria's pastor and another pastor-friend (her granddaughter's pastor) will also be speaking prior and several of Gloria's favorite songs will be done, including "I can only imagine..." by a dance team from their brother's church. They're planning it to be a celebration of her homegoing! I know some of you wanted to know and I thought this might be the best way to let you all know.
Thanks for your prayers for the whole family, especially in Florida. Winn is very tired, so he will appreciate your lifting him up as well!
We love you all!
Donna

2003-02-23T10:11:00.000-08:00

It's Sunday 2/23/03 Haven't heard from my husband yet today. It's been quite a week. I've been reading a lot of blogs. Interesting topics being thrown out there. What a journey to be on! What a time to be living! We have so much to be thankful for! That we can discuss such things in freedom, for one thing. There are always others out there searching for answers as well. May we keep listening to the Spirit and learn how to let Him lead us, even if it is little by little! May we feel and recognize his mercy and love surrounding us on a daily basis, even moment by moment. May we learn, too, what "alleloning" each other really means.

Thanks for your prayers for our family.

2003-02-19T07:18:00.000-08:00

Good morning. I talked with my husband briefly a few minutes ago. He arrived safely and is driving to his brother's thru much, much traffic, then will go with his brother to where his sister is. The report he got early this AM was that last night his sister sat down at the piano and played while the family, sitting around, sang. (Note: she played the piano in her church since she was 12 or 13 years old. She's 76.) Then one of her granddaughters followed her by playing some more and the singing continued. Finally, his sister said she was tired and went to her room, but called each child and grandchild in and prayed with them and said "goodbye". She was told that her pastor and wife were on their way to see her. She said she was tired praying, that they would have to pray for her.

When my husband gets to her, he plans to call me and if she's still with us, let me say something to her on the cell phone. It's hard to believe that healing that we've prayed for in several cases recently, has not occurred on this earth. I so wanted to see our friend LeAnn healed, and my sister-in-law healed. I still believe God can and does as He wills and sees best. He sees the big picture. But it sure doesn't make sense to me sometimes. It just seems "healing" would be the best, no matter what. But we have to trust in God's knowing what is best, and not forget that He does heal. Sometimes healing is "on the other side"! Sometimes it is on this side! God only knows when it is our time to go be with Him.

Thanks for listening.

2003-02-18T14:02:00.000-08:00

I wrote and then lost my post, I guess. This is all new to me. Just found I didn't lose it, but I think this has some different info (at least partially), so I'll send it anyway.

What I wrote about was what was going on at our home today -- my husband is in dialogue with several people (kinfolk, doctor's nurses, hospital nurses, etc., etc.). His sister is going downhill faster than prior. She was diagnosed with bone marrow cancer 8 years ago, and told at that time that she had up to 7 years to live. She's lived 8 years by God's grace. She has three daughters (two who have only been connected to their mother based on what she could do for them; the third one has taken care of her in her home when her mother was home and not in the hospital -- which has been a lot in the hospital in the last few months). There was possible question of my husband's durable POA, but the hospital legal dept. approved it, so that's okay now. But it has been a roller-coaster morning! Some of you probably know how those things can work, I imagine! -- the roller coaster rides that can happen in these things....emotionally and otherwise. The one daughter says she can't make a decision different than her other sisters. So Winn's having to make the "hard" decisions for them, and the 3rd daughter is feeling "relief" for Winn doing it, but the other two daughters will be totally "pissed off" at him. But that won't be anything new -- they didn't like their mother giving him POA, for example, among many other things. Based on what's happening right now, Winn will be leaving tonight on a night flight, not knowing for sure when he will return, based on the way things happen. His sister is now at home and hospice is in charge, as of sometime this afternoon. We will appreciate your prayers for Winn's travels, and everything else he will have to be involved in, and for the rest of us at home and the rest of the family down there. Thanks.

2003-02-18T08:31:00.000-08:00

We're going thru some stuff again, the last two days especially. Winn's sister (in FL) is apparently getting worse and at the "end" (which would really be a beginning for her, of course, with God). Her daughters won't make any decision, which leaves my husband to have to make the important decisions, if the durable POA allows him to do so. The doctors finally told the family yesterday that they can't do anything else for his sister, and that the treatments she was now in were not helping any more and we were not doing her any favors to continue them. (She was diagnosed with bone marrow cancer 8 years ago and told she had 1 to 7 years to live. She's lived 8 years by God's grace.)
If left to the daughters (two of the three have not been connected to their mother except mainly what she could do for them; the third one has been taking care of her mother, but feels unable to make the "hard" decisions without the support of the other two daughters/ the third sister's sisters), his sister will be on life support for a long time, instead of going to her reward naturally. So we will appreciate your prayers in all of this, especially for Winn. Now there's question from the hospital on the durable POA, so their legal dept. is looking at it. So the senario goes on! The roller-coaster ride continues! We will appreciate your prayers in all these goings-on!!!! Thanks!

2003-02-15T18:07:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm off for a few days from teaching. It's called "mid-winter" break. The break is appreciated. People don't realize how "emotionally" exhausted one becomes when interacting with 120 middle school youngsters throughout a day, and then day after day after day. I love them, or I wouldn't do it, but it has been a real challenge to be "the teacher" again. The gal I replaced for the rest of the school year had a baby girl on February 7th. I talked to her yesterday on the phone and she said for the weeks she was off before having the baby (about 5 plus the Winter break), even though pregnant, she had so much more energy. You just don't realize how much you "get drained" going thru the school day. Some days I come home and crash. The challenges are just that. But hopefully most teachers love what they're doing and love the age of kids they are working with, or they should probably move on to something else! I started teaching in 1965 and my first job was with eighth graders. I genuinely enjoyed them! Now as I look back on my prior (to this) 15 years teaching experience (plus 6 years as an IA - total of 21 years in public education), I subbed on all levels, taught full time in high school as well, came back to education in 1996 as an IA (Instructional Assistant, Assistant Teacher) and liked that because I was still working with kids and sometimes one on one or one on two, but didn't have all the paperwork, grading, parental contacts, conferences, etc., etc., much less actual prep for teaching. So when they asked me to replace the gal going on maternity leave, I thought about it for awhile, and then thought I'd take the plunge. I think now I'll be sad when it's over and I may have to go back to being an IA. Teaching (in public school, no less) is hard work, but there's enough reward and personal interaction with kids that I'm happy I said I'd do it.

We believe in "home school", too. We took our differently-abled daughter out of public school in her 11th grade year (she would have had the rest of 11th, then 12th, then 3 years till she was 21 years old -- in Spec. Ed.) and Winn and I home-schooled her. The system said she'd never get past a certain place in her academics, but we challenged her and she went much further! Math seems to be part of her disability, so even though we worked some at that, we didn't see much progress in that area. She ended up getting a high school diploma from the local school district, since we did go thru them for "work training". It was fun to see her blossom beyond what they said she'd ever do. Now we see her blossoming again -- growing - learning - becoming - in her first real job in the work world in the library system as an Assistant Page (in a trial program for "differently abled adults"). She has gone thru periods of time where she would read (aloud) whole books and ask lots of questions. Now working in a library, she brings books home all the time, however, I'm not sure she's reading them. She's having more fun with discovery of different topics and looking at books right now, reading parts or looking at them. That's okay, too. There are still "challenges with her", but she's God's little girl and a real gift from God to our family. Her brother is also a gift of God (meaning of his middle name) and has given up a lot for his sister thru the years. She's had to have a lot of medical attention as well as the learning difficulties/delays, so we told him early on something like, "If you ever feel you're not getting the attention you need, just tell one of us - 'I need some attention'". As I recall, he did a few times. Also, another thing we tried to instill into our kids was that God put them in this family because he knew they (with His help) would be able to handle whatever came our way as a family. God would help us deal with whatever it was together! We have gone thru various things (most families do!!!!) and we remind them of "the above" again and again. We're thankful for close relationship within our family. It always encourages us when we hear some of their responses to others, that God has kept them loving Him thru everything (and in spite of everything) that has occurred, some of which could have really "blown them out of the water" if they had wanted a way out.

And we also appreciate our extended family (Allelon peoples). I'm learning to appreciate you all more and more, as well. Keep blogging, guys and gals. It's fun to get to know you -- one way or another -- to hear what you're thinking and dealing with, to see what is important to you at the stage of life you're in, and so on. It's "fun" to be on this journey and know you're not alone, especially!!!! The family I was born into is a part of a denomination that's been around about 100 years (give or take a few). My dad and brother are both "ordained". They don't understand what has happened to us as we journey in our discovery of what it is to "be the church"! My mom looks forward to every weekend and every service at the church. So even though they haven't rejected us for where we are "with the church" these days, they don't understand why anything should be different than it always was, if you understand what I'm saying. So we don't feel we can discuss much with them! So I'm glad there are many on this same journey that we're on and that we're in this "together"!!!!!

2003-02-08T19:49:00.000-08:00

Thanks for the coercion and the support, hubby dear. But I (we) know the real truth. I've learned so much from you in our 36.5 years of marriage and two years of "going together" before that. We "balance" each other in many ways, and I'm thankful!

Jeanette and Beth, I hope you both are getting the "change" you need and deserve. And I hope the guys will let you "enjoy the change" to the fullest. I'm proud of them for that (that is: if they're not bugging you)! Being Mom and Wife is a full-time job and the best job around, but "revitalization" and "renewal" is always invigorating and helpful not only to you but to the whole family, long-term. SO "live it up" and enjoy!!! We're praying for you, Jeanette, for God's healing for you as well.
Love you all.

2003-02-08T18:06:00.000-08:00

I've been coerced (encouraged????) by my wonderful husband into entering "Blogsville"! My Title Togedda fo Each Odda is from Hawaiian Pidgin. It was a way of speaking that I learned while growing up in Honolulu, Hawaii, being there for about 19 years while my parents were planting a church, Bible school, Bible Resource Place (book store), etc. That seems like several lives ago, however. I just recently purchased Da Jesus Book, a Hawaii Pidgin New Testament, for both my brother and my sister, who were both born in Hawaii, and decided to get one for myself to reminisce. I feel "lost" kinda like Todd described -- this is totally out of my comfort zone, I must say. I love to write emails, letters, etc., so it shouldn't seem so hard. I guess because it sounds so "public", it's scary! But we gotta be togedda fo each odda, right? So I'm "stepping out" again. This year has been one of those years (this year starting about last July 2002) for me, and it looks like it will continue for a long time! So much to learn!

I'm enjoying a new "mission" as a teacher of middle school youngers. (It's a temporary replacement position of a teacher on maternity leave and as far as I know is thru June 2003). Most are below grade level in reading, some very much below. But my mission and passion is to little by little, one by one, "be there for them" and try to teach them at the same time. It has brought a "renewed" something in me, however I find I pour myself into planning and preparing, so that I'm totally ready and then can "be more attuned" to them as a community and as individuals. It was fun this week to just put my arm on one kid's shoulder and give him an encouraging word and get a smile back, to another (who had lost his backpack....long story) to tell him to bring his backpack to this classroom before he goes to lunch (instead of leaving it in the hall by his 4th period classroom) so it will be safe (that usually I don't leave until a few minutes after the kids have left anyway) and to see his smile because I guess he saw that I cared enough to make that suggestion; and then there are those negative (seemingly, at the time) challenges of kids who are frustrated, feeling down, "acting out" and being rebellious (so to speak???!!!) etc., that I haven't gotten to yet. By the way, the second kid I referred to above can be a "terror", is very immature, told me as he came into class every day of my first week with them that he was really going to make me mad (saying it over and over, along with disturbing others around him, not doing his work, etc.). This past week was his best yet. It's taken awhile, but he's actually working and "not" disturbing like before. I gave him a note on Thursday to take home to his parents about his improvement, and he seemed very pleased. I just so much want to "make a difference" for each one and give them "positive attention" , but know I can only do it "one at a time" -- it's frustrating, because it's not fast enough. I know I only have a few weeks, but I'm asking the Lord to help me to "help" in whatever small way I can the ones that need it most. I have about a 22-25 minute drive to work each morning, so I pray during that time that I can be "calm" and do what needs to be done that day with and for whomever! I'm not always successful. Sometimes I'm frustrated by the end of the day and "crash" when I get home. I decided to about once a month do a lesson on VALUES (and a packet to go with it). The discussion yesterday was very interesting. It was helpful to hear the kids interpret and say where they were by responding to the "little stories" (situations) as to what could or should have been different. I really enjoyed hearing their inputs.

Well, that's enough for one blog. I'm sitting here with tears running down my face and not believing that I've even done this.

You all (guys and gals), God has us on this earth for this time to be for the sake of others....isn't it fun?